Don't you send me to vm
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
