We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
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So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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