Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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