My first STD was from a foam party
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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