I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
