If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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