so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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