Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
