my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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