Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
