Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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