Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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