his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
