Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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