I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
