Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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