she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
