I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
