Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
