whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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