That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
