on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
