This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
