She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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