dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
