I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh god it's open bar.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
