I can tuck mytits in my pants
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
