thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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