im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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