Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
