i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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