Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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