Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
