He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
