New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize