My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
