No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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