That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pants are for mortals
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
