so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
