lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
