Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
