At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
