Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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