i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
