Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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