so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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