I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
