five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So many bounce houses so little time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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