If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize