i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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