guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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