I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
