don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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