You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Randomize
