I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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