I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
