omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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