Who did Billy Mays play for?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
