One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
