so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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