Your dad touched me again.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
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These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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