we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
