you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
