Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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