if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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